He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
