ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
