what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
