can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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