Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize