There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
false alarm, still single
Randomize
