what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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