haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
