I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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