pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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