is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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