When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
