She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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