I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you had me at cake vodka
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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