well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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