I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
