Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
