I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
