just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
