So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
