with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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