So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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