Don't you send me to vm
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
