Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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