Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
