peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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