Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Randomize
