hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
