hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize