I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
