I must be too annoying 4 u.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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