is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
