just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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