Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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