Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
