Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
