Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
