apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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