I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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