Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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