onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize