You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
