come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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