I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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