Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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