The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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