that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
