my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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