Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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