Where did you get a picture of my penis
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
