Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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