do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
