therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
