I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
