thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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