I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
