i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
