No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
