Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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