I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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