I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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