Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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