Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
