Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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