can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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